Monday, August 30, 2010

I'm tempted to do it...

I'm actually contemplating putting myself on craigslist... is that sad? I think so...

I mean... really? Should I?

I have made one really good friend here other than my housemate... but my new friend is a truck driver... (Ha, I know... how random, right?) and is gone for the next couple weeks. It also doesn't help that I'm broke as shit right now... grr.

But I get my first paycheck on Friday, so I hope to do something or at least afford dinner (maybe a movie?) with someone.

I'm just... augh. Emo right now I guess. My roommate and even my new friend are all, "Find a girlfriend! Do it! Do it NOW!" and I'm just... not into that. I mean... having a girlfriend in town would be nice... but I'm not really emotional available right now and I don't know this city AT ALL! I would much rather have a good friend than a girlfriend right now. Well, a couple good friends... preferably a friend with a car and a knowledge of the city.

Aughhh... CraigsList just creeps me out. I mean... I'm a vain bitch and I'm ultra leery about people I meet online. Just because I'm not fucking nuts doesn't mean they aren't.. and girls are crazy as hell. I'm NOT trying to fear for my life my first month here. lol

And being a lesbian trying to make friends with girls is just as difficult as it sounds. As I stated before, girls are CRAZY AS HELL! So... I try to be just friends with a girl and they're all, "Don't you find me attractive?" and "Why wouldn't you want to be with me?" or THEY never intended on just being a friend to begin with. So therefore I find myself making really good friends with dudes. It's kind of hard to believe... but dudes usually accept and move on that you don't want to sleep with them better than females.

Let's face it ladies... we're needy, vain and a tad narcissistic. We all want to be loved, cared for... and attained or wanted, at the very very least. So... I end up just being another dude friend that eventually they expect to at least make ONE move on them... and when I don't... yeah... some girls aren't okay with that.

But even with that said... I've had healthy, strictly friend relationships with females too. It is possible and I'm good at having friends... just... augh.

I'm being paranoid.

:(

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