An Open Letter to my Brother-in-Law and his Mistress

How do I begin a letter to someone that has caused my family such distress in these last few weeks and my dear sister for half of my lifetime? What do I say to begin a blog that I have been forming in my head for days? I've got so much material I'm almost buried in the filth you have so easily tossed my way.

I guess I could address why an open letter. Why I would choose such a public domain for all to see and revisit often? Why would I blog about something so personal and not pertaining to me? I've often said in my blog that my one major rule is to only blog about myself and my problems. This isn't Gossip Girl and I'm not out to whine like a teenager about adult subjects.

Truth is, this is a situation that pertains to me; my mother; my grandmother... my family. You see, when you enter into a family as close as ours, you marry all of us. You become our brother, our son, our grandson and nephew. I was just thirteen when my sister brought you home for the first time to meet us. When you got my sister pregnant that pretty much concreted you in to our family. No matter how that pregnancy happened or how young you both were, that did it. After thirteen years of being in our family how do you expect us to act? My sister has done an amazing job keeping your actions private. Believe what you want but we all had formed our own opinions of you without her validating your worth amongst us.  My mother sobbed because she felt not only robbed of a son but violated through her daughter. I cannot overlook that.

Bury it in the backyard

Anger takes so much out of me.

Its exhausting to be this angry all day. Sleep is but a whisper when I need so much if it. Coffee just stirs the acids in my stomach and gives me cramps. My lack of sleep just makes me more angry.

Bad Day

I haven't had a bad day in months. I liked to think of my last bad day as one of my last days on shift of my last job.... until now.

Yesterday was an all around bad day. My lack of sleep catered to my short patience. BabyG is teething. This is basically the run down of yesterday.



It all started by a sleepless night of BabyG waking up every hour because she's teething and constantly wants a boob in her mouth. I woke up more exhausted than what I was before bed. BabyG had her morning happy time for all of an hour then promptly went into screams. Hubby is texting me to bring him food at work and to return some stuff to Wal-Mart. BabyG is crying. I go to get our reusable bags from the spare/stockpile room and on the way down the hall manage to bump the Scentsy plug-in and wax goes EVERYWHERE! Cranberry red splashed on our creamy white apartment wall and beige carpets. BabyG is STILL screaming. I want to pull my hair out. I text Hubby and tell him to fend for himself for lunch and try to scrub up some of the dye from the walls and carpet. To no avail and BabyG is, you guessed it, crying her eyes out.


Fuck it. Back to bed we go! In the short life of BabyG we have had quite a few "re-starts" as I call them. We go back to bed, I nurse her and sometimes I even manage to get in a decent nap. When we are both up from said nap the day generally re-starts a bit better. Well, I turn on Cheers and she gets the last bit from the left boob and screams bloody murder until I move her to the right boob. Halfway through the Cheers episode (A full episode is twenty-one minutes, mind you.) and BabyG is blowing raspberries on my boob and has three fingers shoved in her mouth. I ask her if she's better now and she gives me a slobbery grin and blows more raspberries. I then inform Hubby that I'll go see him after all since BabyG is suddenly in better spirits.