Unplug.

I am on my phone entirely too much.

I am watching television entirely too much. 

I'm neglecting life by senseless distractions. I worry that I'm missing my daughter's first years because I'm too busy matching up three or more vegetables or candy or whatever. 

I've burned out three phone backlights. You know that thing that makes your phone light up so you can see what you're doing? Yeah, that. I kill those. With my constant googling of celebrities and idle gaming. I feel controlled and consumed and it's stifling. I'm addicted in a bad way.

Bury it in the backyard

Anger takes so much out of me.

Its exhausting to be this angry all day. Sleep is but a whisper when I need so much if it. Coffee just stirs the acids in my stomach and gives me cramps. My lack of sleep just makes me more angry.

The Medium in the Candle Shop (Dream)

I had a weird supernatural dream last night.

It was set in New Orleans (I miss that place so much) and I was a medium. I was going to different shops and had an appointment with a young woman that worked at a candle shop. As soon as I walked in one of her co-workers recognized me and hurried me to the back to the lady I had the appointment with. I suddenly felt very sad.

"It's your lover that passed away." I said without the lady telling me. She nodded solemnly and her coworker took a seat behind me.

I turned to the coworker,  "Excuse me, Miss, but this is a private appointment." As I blinked I saw the deceased lover in a family embrace with the coworker. The coworker had bent her head down and softly began to cry, "If its okay with the miss here you can sit in. I didn't realize he was your brother."

Push Play

Okay, Okay... I'm so tired of teetering. I lose ten pounds and then I gain it back. I lose fifteen, then I gain it back.

Since we've moved into my Grandmother's house I've felt like my life is on pause. My baby weight, our living space, my work out schedule... everything. Everything has come to an abrupt halt. I thought, "It'll just be a few months. No sweat."

Five months later... it's a different story.

Valentine's Day is for schmucks

Okay, okay... before you just write this off as yet another anti-valentine's blog hear me out.

First off: I think every gift giving relationship "holiday" is complete bullshit. Yes, even anniversaries.

Why? You ask.
Here's why. Those days weigh so heavy on men and Significant Others. Those specificed Hallmark-fuelled days socially sets them up to fail. So much hype and comparisons make for a lot of disappointment.

Rainbows

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Who's this bitch and why won't she shut the hell up????

That's right. My inner bitch is raging today. Well, my inner bitch and Emo are having a knife fight. No one is winning, its an equal dispute.