Friday, March 26, 2010

Video of the Week: Wicca Vs Witchcraft

Another perspective on Wicca and Witchcraft and how they are not the same, but can be affiliated.

I agree with most of what he says and I really like how he uses Martial Arts as an analogy.

Blessed Be,

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Arrrrruuguugggggggg & Spell Editorial

Don't you hate the downer that comes with the uppity happiness?

I've been so very happy these last few weeks and now suddenly I'm very sullen and sad. I can't seem to shake it either. I'm just really upset and hating myself. My insecurities are raging.

I haven't really had too much time alone recently and that may be playing a part but when I get alone I get even more sad and icky. It's a double edged sword and I can't decide which edge will hurt the least.


In other Witchy news: I want to talk about spells in general. As a blanket statement.

I frequent a pagan website, which I've mentioned before (and is linked over there somewhere ---->) and new members usually post "can I have a spell that..." and "I need love, someone know a love spell?" and it just rubs me the wrong way terribly.

Spells are not meant to be a fix-all, be-all. I've cast a couple in my lifetime but I view spells in a different way than other Wiccans (I'm assuming, from my experiences) I view spells as a rite. A Ritual. A different way of "prayer". It's very similar to ceremonies held by organized religion. I use a spell as an "umpf" not a crutch.

(Let me try to use english)

When I say "crutch" I mean... If you are in a coven, or trying to be a part of a coven, MOST of them make you take CLASSES. Yes, like school. You have to take classes and studies before they will even CONSIDER you. As a solitary you obviously have more freedom but I like the idea that covens want you to be schooled before they will welcome you in and let you yeld a wand. Because you have to know what you're dealing with before you welcome energies into your life. You need to. I can't stress that enough.

As a solitary I hold my own standards. Respectively, I studied for 5yrs before casting my first circle. Most books you'll read will tell you to study at the very very least one full year and a day before calling any elements, or chanting anything altering to the universe. I completely revel in the year and a day thing. You need that time. You need it. It's kind of like a spiritual cleansing. You need those days, hours, weeks, minutes... to just purge out all you ever thought of religion and replace it with new ideas and new insights. Rushing into things usually end horribly.

I practice my craft much like a Buddist tries to reach enlightenment. I approach everything with patience and time. Meditation is very important to me and it truly affects everything you do in life. With spells, you take time. You study it. You research the items you will be using if you are unfamiliar with them or haven't used them before. Check all angles. Is there a better herb? Is there a better oil? Is this the right color candle? Should you have to call a circle or could you just send up some words to the Goddess and feel content?

There are so many ways things could pan out. There are so many outcomes that aren't desired that could happen. Anything can and will happen.

A "spell" is such a loose term. When I say spell in this article I truly mean calling a circle, inviting spirits, energies and elements into your current physical being and welcoming the Goddess to show her true self to you. Not just lighting a candle or sending energies to your diety. Many people that practice any form of "spellwork" even see a simple, "Dear Goddess, bless me on this day and help me follow my path" and a nod to the moon as a spell. While others (like myself) view full-blown casting a circle and/or using items to construct a ritual as a spell...

Wicca is a huge gray area.
Everything I've said may or may not be agreed with and could be "wrong" to someone else.
I'm a solitary, I know how I do it and I'm aware how others do it.
(Never be afraid to make something your own or change things to fit you in your craft. Wicca is very personal and very self-described)

I'm really not trying to confuse anyone, there are just so many options to spells and the like. To me the most powerful of spell is one that is written by your own hand and created in your own mind. I don't feel like buying a spell from a bookstore makes it legit. If you want spell books for ideas and educational to learn how to construct a spell, I have no qualms with that. I read spells all the time just out of curiosity, but for the most part I feel like my own spells written by me or spells I've found and altered to be my own work the best.

Love Spells:
Love spells kind of need their own blog, but while I'm on the subject I might as well cover it.

Love spells are just silly. I view love spells in the same way christian view the Holy Grail. Unattainable and most believe is a myth but yet people don't stop the journey. I don't believe in love spells, I've never tired one nor would I ever. Love is such a beautifully twisted, ugly, outrageous, wonderful, twitchy, maddening shroud of what could be, should be, might be. Love isn't meant to be tampered with by any forces other than yourself purely on an emotional level.

To cast a spell asking for someone to love you is setting yourself up for disappointment.

(Remember the gray area? There is one here too)

The gray area for loves spells is this: I can see doing a "love" spell wanting to heal from a bad break up, or to strengthen the love you have for yourself. A "love" spell can also be cast (in my opinion) when you feel unloved and you want to be AWARE of the love around you, not CREATE it. An awareness spell seems far more legit to me rather than a "I want to create this love that didn't exsist before" spell. I believe that wanting to be aware of the love that IS around you when you are doubting it, seems okay to me and probably wouldn't backfire on you. It's when you ask for something that wasn't there to suddenly be there is when energies get skewed and people's emotions get toyed with and possibly you end up with some pretty heavy negative baggage that won't go away until you do a counter-spell to hopefully dispell some of the nasty that you got from the original one.

On the forum that I go to whenever someone wants to cast a love spell, I try to stear them in a new direction. Here are some examples:

"I just want him/her to love me. I want them to be mine. I love him/her so much!"
-Do you want them to love you back or be aware of it? Have you tried to tell them? Are you too scared to talk to them? Do a confidence spell to make you strong enough to talk to them and make them aware of your feelings for them.

"He broke up with me and I can't take it anymore. He already has a new girlfriend and I want him back. I love him and he needs to love me back."
-You should do a healing spell. Mend your heart before you could possibly ever cast a spell requesting such a thing. If you cast a spell with animosity in your heart you will probably send the wrong kind of energy out into the universe and love won't be what is sent back to you. Do a spell asking for inner peace and when you get your head straight you will realize there are others you could love and will love you back.

"I have a friend that really likes this guy and we want to do a love spell so she can get him to notice her. What kind of love spell could I do?"
-An awareness spell. Do a spell that "reveals" things to him directly. As in, you are more obvious in your actions in hopes that he could notice you. Spells are a reflection within yourself on others, not an attempt to change other people's actions and emotions to reflect back on you. A spell is sent out and hopefully rebounded back... much like a boomerang. You have to send it before you can recieve it. I believe if you have this mindset while casting a spell, it will properly be sent out into the universe and hopefully answered.

Again, I am not the know-all be-all and not everyone will agree with my opinions but I just hope to offer some insight. As always, do you own research before you take my opinions as your own.

Blessed Be,

Monday, March 15, 2010


Main Entry: dra·ma
Pronunciation: \ˈdrä-mə, ˈdra-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin dramat-, drama, from Greek, deed, drama, from dran to do, act
Date: 1515

1 a : a composition in verse or prose intended to portray life or character or to tell a story usually involving conflicts and emotions through action and dialogue and typically designed for theatrical performance : play — compare closet drama b : a movie or television production with characteristics (as conflict) of a serious play; broadly : a play, movie, or television production with a serious tone or subject

2 : dramatic art, literature, or affairs
3 a : a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces b : dramatic state, effect, or quality


AKA: Something I won't get involved in, ESPECIALLY if it's nothing to do with me personally. My friends can fight, throw words and stones and fists... I will take one step back. Unless it's a total misunderstanding of words that I might be able to clear a fog over.... I'm out of it.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Music Wednesday (Music:Walk Away by Imogen Heap)

Just when I think I have my shit together... I fuck up royally.

Dear Imogen,
I love that you have a song for EVERY fucking thing that goes on in my life... but seriously... can I not have things in my life fit so perfectly sometimes? It'd make my life less painful. Just... maybe just once?
Love you,

I saw her today. I fucking folded and touched her. I wouldn't let her close to me at first and ended up having an anxiety attack in her bathroom. Cowered and chicken. Crying. Shaking. Fucking hating myself. She told me I'd be okay... she promised everything would be okay.

What bullshit.

We talked. She read me a letter.

Yelling... we yelled. I yelled. She cried. I cried. I yelled again.

We touched. We touched a lot.

Didn't kiss though... didn't kiss.

No bare skin... bare skin is bad.

I snapped. Snapping is what happened. I stopped. Nausea... sickness. Hate. Pain. I stopped.

We argued... she cried... I left.

I drove.

I crawled up my stairs.

I painted. I cried. I painted. I cried. I cried. I cried... I painted.

I danced.

I danced.

I danced.

I cried.

I danced.

I vacuumed.

I cried.

I txted her...

I wrote a blog.

I'm broken.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Wiccan Word of the Week (WWW: Circle)

There are so many ways to "Call a Circle" and there are many variations of a Circle that are practiced in Wicca. I will only be speaking of different circles found in Wicca, Calling a circle is an entirely different blog. :)

You've got a circle around a Star which it the Pentagram that I have discussed previously. A circle around a Pentagram means it's a closed pentagram and the elements within it is being controlled in some ways. (Since Wiccan's use their practice as some form of "control" in their lives, it only makes sense that their symbol reflects humanity in control)

The image of a Snake eating his own tail is an old Chinese proverb within its self. It shows Life and Death, very much like the circle of life but more disturbing, I think.
Snake is alive, snake starts eating himself, snake begins where he ends. A lot of Wiccans believe not in an afterlife, but in reincarnation. (Reincarnation is when your soul is transformed or transplanted into a new being and a new life, trying to accomplish what your soul needs to do to ultimately purify its self and in time, be welcomed to "The Great Meadow")

When a Wiccan casts a circle, it isn't just a circle but a Sphere of Protection for the one in the middle (or surrounding) it. The circle is meant to protect everyone involved and dispel any negativity within the Circle. In Hocus Pocus you saw the older brother put a circle of salt around his younger sister to ward off evil spirits. Salt is often used in spells that are "heavy" on magic or if the caster feels they need an extra bit of protection, although Candles are reflected in the same way, as a ward against anything that might want to "Piggyback" the spell.

So basically, the idea of a circle is what goes around comes around. What lives, also dies. What dies can also live again. He who suffers can once again feel happiness. And all of that fun stuff.

There are Circles everywhere in life. When I think of a circle I think of a full moon, the highest peak of magical thinking... or the craziest time for the general public.... the highest tides and the brightest nights. I'm kind of obsessed with circles, you could say. I see them everywhere and a heed them when it's needed.

When you think of a circle, what do you see?

Blessed Be,


I'm obsessed and I have no idea why. I'm obsessed with the w4w personals and Missed Encounters and shit like that.

[[[[ Obsessed ]]]]

I guess I think it'd be fun if someone ever mentioned me. (But they never do) I also find it amazing about how people basically sell themselves over the internet. I feel like reading the personals and missed encounters is like delving into lives that people usually don't show others or would be embarrassed about if their mother happened to read it.

I mean, honestly. There is a dude looking to PAY a marine to "suck him off" I mean... this dude wants to pay someone so HE can do things to THEM! It's shocking and I'm just... wow.

I never respond to any of the personals though and from what I've gathered, a guy that drugged me awhile back is apparently famous on Craigslist... imagine that. He is a complete whore and womanizer and he's famous on a hookup site... Mm... not that far fetched. Lucky for me I no longer work in a public setting and don't have to see him around town anymore... but now I get to read people's comments about him and warnings against him all over Craigslist. (It's sooo priceless)

I feel like Craigslist is a huge social experiment that I get to peek in on whenever I feel like it.. but everyone else isn't in on it so they take it seriously.

It's astounding the amount of Gay/Lesb things that are up there. I mean... I've read "We can be discreet" so many times it makes me sick. If you are something, you are it. I understand keeping it hushhush during certain situations (My Gma would probably die instantly if she found out) but for the general public... but if you are willing to put yourself out on a website... You should face the music and deal.

The worst ones though are, "My husband is deployed and he said I could do a girl while he's gone... anyone interested?"

Here is a hint ladies... if you are curious and married... find another curious and married women. Bi girls are more apt to please your husband too when he gets back, though. If you go after a lesbian, you're just going to fuck with her mind and then you'll be banging your husband when he gets back, leaving her emotionally tarnished. (But I can't speak for all lesbians...) If you find another straight but curious girl, you're bound to come out unscathed on both ends.... same with a Bi girl. Bi girls are more apt to do 3somes with your husband, which can make him not-so-jealous about the situation. Lesbians won't want a 3some with your penis-baring husband. (Just saying)

Begging for sex.

Seriously... begging. I mean... I know I'm not a dog face or anything and I'm sure a lot of these people that are begging aren't either... But there are soooo many other ways to connect with people. Just grow some friggin' balls and ask someone something very obvious to start the conversation. The conversation can develope in to more things and then BAM! you can then ask them about some sexual favors. And if you just want a fuck.. there are bars on every corner and plenty of willing whores are regulars. (Promise)

With all this said, I'm sure you are thinking, "Just don't read them if it bothers you so much" and you're right. I really shouldn't.. because sometimes I'm tempted to email them and go, "Really?! Are you fucking serious right now?! Posting a picture of your penis is NOT attractive and begging just makes you look desperate. I hope you get AIDs and die!"

Okay, so maybe not the die part...

And maybe I'm just as evil because I read missed connections hoping that someone mentions me just out of pure vanity. I honestly don't know what I'd do if someone did mention me though-- I mean... would I respond? I watch CSI too much to trust strangers... just saying.

It also creeps me out when I see that people have posted their phone numbers in hopes that someone will dial their number looking for a hookup... when that person posted their number, did they ever think of those prowling Craigslist looking for their first murder? Or theives looking for some stupid idiot willing to meet anyone at any time just to rob them blind?

Maybe it's a good thing I don't trust people enough to respond to these posts on Craigslist and maybe it's awesome that I don't have any desire to meet these people and I'm terrified at the thought of it. Maybe it's a good thing that I read these posts because it makes me feel less desperate and needy. Also, less alone in wanting some affection from someone else. I find just as much comfort as I do disgust in some of the want ads.

So I guess what I'm saying is... I won't stop reading craigslist anytime soon.

Blessed Be,

(All of these opinions are mine. That doesn't make them right or even all that justified... but that's what opinions are. So if I offended you, that wasn't my intentions)