Thursday, February 13, 2014

Valentine's Day is for schmucks

Okay, okay... before you just write this off as yet another anti-valentine's blog hear me out.

First off: I think every gift giving relationship "holiday" is complete bullshit. Yes, even anniversaries.

Why? You ask.
Here's why. Those days weigh so heavy on men and Significant Others. Those specificed Hallmark-fuelled days socially sets them up to fail. So much hype and comparisons make for a lot of disappointment.

You want to take some pressure off of your relationship? Abandon all gift giving sub-holidays for a year. Depending on your religion, I'm talking: anniversaries, Valentine's day and birthdays. Yes-- BIRTHDAYS!
If its a group gift giving holiday (Christmas/Yule/Kwanzaa/etc) then I say go ahead. Dont go big though, and for fucks sake-- if you give your SO and engagement ring for Christmas DON'T let that be the only gift you give her. An engagement ring is NOT a replacement gift. Engagement rings are a whole different thing. 

Honestly, if you are going to give any gift on Valentine's Day I'd say an engagement ring would be it. Otherwise, gift schmift.

I guess that just blurs things over.

I think its wrong to expect anything for Valentine's Day if you aren't going to return the favor.
"Valentine's Day is just for the women." Is such utter bullshit. Take it from someone who has been on both sides of that argument: Valentine's Day is a Hallmark-fuelled holiday used to guilt you into rewarding your SO for sticking around.

If you're going to buy your love interest flowers do it because they had a bad day or because you had a bad day. If you're going to buy that person you've been crushing on for awhile a bear that says something dumb but cute on it, do it because you don't know how else to tell her/him how you feel NOT because of some magic day of the year that says you're obligated to.

I guess gift giving in general on certain days has always been lost on me. I've been known to show up at a friend's house with flowers because I knew it'd brighten their mood. I've bought expensive things that I knew my SO needed but couldn't afford in the middle of May just because I loved them. But Valentine's Day.... On Valentine's Day I'd sulk and watch zombie movies while I pounded beers and threatened them to force me to leave the house. I'd avoid conversations of, "What did you get for Valentine's?" and the aisles of red, pink puke-worthy items. I've always loathed the idea of forced obligations and worthless guilt over pointless bullshit.

Okay, not everyone feels that way and I pissed off nearly every girlfriend I had during February (the boyfriends did a happy dance) but I didn't care. It wasn't a trick and I never acted pissed if they had a gift for me. I get how Valentine's Day can be sweet and can bring out the sweetness in someone who usually isn't sweet... but for me, not so much. Valentine's Day tends to apply such unneeded pressure on a relationship.
So relax. This year, call V-Day off and hang out with friends wether you're in a relationship or not. Honestly, if your SO gets super miffed about an anti-valentine's day then s/he probably isn't worth it anyway. Love can happen all year, sweetness and kindness can flourish no matter what day or phase the moon is in. Valentine's Day is society pressuring you to be that dude on the commercial with sweaty palms and a pointless stuffed animal while he scrambles to find a dinner reservation at the last minute. Don't be that dude.

Just love... everyday... just love.

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