Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Push Play

Okay, Okay... I'm so tired of teetering. I lose ten pounds and then I gain it back. I lose fifteen, then I gain it back.

Since we've moved into my Grandmother's house I've felt like my life is on pause. My baby weight, our living space, my work out schedule... everything. Everything has come to an abrupt halt. I thought, "It'll just be a few months. No sweat."

Five months later... it's a different story.

I used the excuse, "She buys such crap food, it's hard for me to not eat it." 
The reality: I have a box of pop-tarts sitting beside me. No, not a regular eight pack of pop tars. I'm talking a 104 count diaper box full of pop-tarts. Roughly eight boxes of pop tarts I've couponed for. Not to mention the bags of candy I bring into the house. If it's a snickers, I'm going to eat it. I can't just let it lay around the house.

Guess what I'm getting at is I'm sabotaging myself... no matter how much I want to blame my sweet Grandma. I've always stated that you can't control anyone else just yourself and how you react to said person. I can take this into play in this scenario too. I have to. 

I think a lot of this is my grandmother's love affair with bread. I can't blame her-- I have it too. I simply do not buy the things filled with gluten that she does. Gluten is an agitater. It makes you swell. It makes your body retain more water than it needs. Not only that but it makes me depressed. I don't know if that's a scientific proven thing or just me, personally. I can tell a difference in my emotional state when I have eaten less gluten. I don't feel as weighed down. I get hungry really fast after eating primarily bread. I know all of these things but yet I keep stuffing my face full like a poverish english boy that just made off with a stack of rolls.

The Gluten-free fad is growing fast because people not only realize how great they feel after eating gluten-free but they're losing weight too! Now, I know Hubby is reading this and Hubby don't freak out! I'm not planning on going gluten free (yet... heh.) but cut down considerably. No more waiting around. No more excuses. (I say this while I'm eating cereal.. augh) I need to at least start eating better. Better is good. I can go all crazy when I can control the complete contents of my kitchen. I need to make the changes so I can eat those little debbie snacks occasionally.... or a whole pint of Ben & Jerrys.

I'm just... augh. Over it. I did my first yoga class in years and it has awaken the old me. It was soooo much easier than what I anticipated. I'm challenging myself to stop wearing yoga pants every day. I want to be able to fit into regular pants again... happily. The only way to really push myself is to stop the delusions and accept the truth. Accept the truth and move on.

I've now pushed Play!
C'mon life, lets live!

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