Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Home Stretch!

Pregnant Log
Pregnant: 29 Weeks ]
Mood Swings: Insecure. Weepy. Mess. ]
Cravings: Peanut butter, Waffles, Ice cream, Ice cream. ]

Holy Guacamole!
I have 11 weeks left!
Just eleven weeks!
That's insane!
Look, another exclamation mark!

Okay, I'm done freaking out now... kind of. We still have nothing for the baby. I say nothing but we have a bassinet but no sheets... one skirt and a few stuffed animals. O, and a Bumbo that she can't use until she's a couple months old. I've been hyperventilating about it and Hubby reassures me that it will all fall into place and I shouldn't stress so much. I wish I had his level of confidence.

I have also long acknowledged that I could very well make it two weeks past my due date before they start breathing down my neck about chemically inducing and that nasty C-section thing. I really hope I don't have to have a C-section. That surgery sounds so invasive and scary. My BFF had one but she had TWINS! I just have one. With her first she did it with no chemicals and it was vaginal. I want to be able to do the same with my baby.

This morning I woke up to very distinct karate kicks to my belly button. I propped myself up and just watched my belly jerk and twitch as BabyG wiggled around. I tried to get Hubby to see but she got bashful, I guess. All day today she has made some very prominent kicks in utero. She feels strong and cramped. I guess she's running out of room. Last doctor's visit Doc said, "Ooo, your uterus is swelling nicely." So I guess I'm right on target but cheese and crackers the kicks to my ribs were killer last night!

I watched the Hobbit with some friends and Hubby lastnight. The movie is UH-MAY-ZING by the way. It's a MUST see and we watched it in 3D. Worth it!  I MADE IT THROUGH THE WHOLE MOVIE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO PEE! Yes, it was that important it needed caps. I was so impressed with myself but BabyG wasn't having it the last 30mins of the film. She was kicking me in what felt like my spine... well, the very back of my rib cage. I stuck it through though! We were all proud of ourselves for not going to the bathroom during the movie. ha. They all had a couple alcoholic beverages before the movie. I have been drinking a couple gallons of water a day. I'm just so thirsty. I've also gained more weight than I anticipated but I'm still within "normal" range but I'm starting to get nervous about losing it once I have the baby.

It's making me very insecure.

I've had this sinking feeling that Hubby is bored with me. (He assures me he is very much in love with me and that I'm a beautiful, sexy, preggosauras.) I can't help it. I just feel like we're drifting apart.... but I can't tell if I'm over-analyzing the situation. (Probably) I keep thinking he is going to leave me. I guess I shouldn't have watched Maury today.... or Teen Mom 2. Those people aren't us. Those situations aren't my situations. We are different. I keep trying to remind myself of these things but pregnancy has really morphed my perception of me to be skewed. I guess because I never really wanted kids to begin with. I remember telling Hubby ages ago, "I don't want kids. I don't want to plan for kids, anyway. If I ever plan for a kid, I will plan to not have a kid." I'm pretty selfish. Well, was selfish. I wanted to be able to drink and go out and party and do whatever, where ever, when ever. I didn't have a crazy teenage phase, I waited until I was well into 21 before I even went to bars and then did all my insane stuff between 22-24 years old. I don't feel like I'm done having a good time either. I want to still have people over and have a good time but be responsible with my kid too. I want to show my kid that having a child isn't the end of my personal life. I will be the example for her. Hubby and I will be her prime example for what love is. My lifestyle choices will give her examples of what is acceptable in a public sector.

Augh, I'm just rambling now. Anyway-- BabyG has some mega ninja kicks and I'm sure in a few weeks I will be able to see her roll over and my whole stomach get all weird shaped and I will probably be a bit grossed out.

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