Paranoia

Paranoia is probably the least attractive trait there can be. Well, one of the front runners anyway.

I've had a panic attack last for hours tonight over paranoia.

Fear of losing all that I've wanted... all that I have... Fear of what could be yanked out from under me at any given moment.

Talk... the talk... the talk that needs to happen.

It's easy to give up when you're too weak to fight.

My chest caves in and I swallow hard... remembering that it's my insecurities that are ruining me. I can't blame my inner most hollow on anyone else. That's frightening all within its self.

It's a me problem, not a you problem.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Could I possibly be any more fucked up? All I wanted was to be in a solid relationship and now that I'm in one I'm fucking up for fear of fucking up... and then my insecurities are ruining me from the inside.

Fuckfuckfuck

Maybe tomorrow I can stop being such a fucking drama queen.

Yeah,

maybe tomorrow.