Saturday, August 25, 2012

TMI City

I feel like crap. crap. crap.

[Pregnant Log: Unofficially 9wks] Haven't gone to the doctor yet.
[Mood Swings: Off the charts]
[Cravings: Peanut butter & milkshakes/ice cream] Both together are perfect!

My morning sickness could only be worse if it accompanied puking. My nausea is unbareable. These last couple days have been the worst. My balance is completely gone. My balance was already terrible. Hubby laughs at how pathetic I am when he wakes me from the couch to move to bed after a long day of work. I walk sideways for a few seconds before I get my barrens just long enough to ease myself into bed. Laying on my stomach for five minutes already makes me feel sick for a solid thirty minutes. I can't even sleep on my side kind of positioned towards my stomach, I have to lay on my side, positioned towards my back.

Sometimes when I wake up and just lay in bed, I won't feel sick at all. Sometimes I even get maybe thirty minutes of feeling completely fine, walking around and then I feel super sick and want to lay down for the rest of my life.

Laying down is so heavenly. I never liked lounging around as much as I do now. Once my eyes open in the morning I like to be up and about and doing anything. Now, my eyes open and I try to lay in bed as long as possible before getting up. Today, I laid in bed for a solid hour and a half after waking up. I got up to use the bathroom and then laid back down. Laying down felt like a cool shower after being at the beach all day. Pure relief. For the most part, all I think about all day long is being back in my bed. Or snuggling up on the couch and having Hubby rub my back. Instant happiness.

Working isn't as much of a chore I make it out to be. When I'm at home getting ready for work I'm on the edge of tears not wanting to go in. Once I get to work I'm not so bad, work isn't so bad, the customers aren't all bad. Doing inventory is already posing some problems. Bending over makes me queasy, standing up from a squatted position makes me queasy and also, moving too quickly or a whole lot at once makes me dizzy and queasy. Why is it that no one mentioned to me how crappy this first trimester is? Last girl I was around during her first trimester she was puke-city but no real nausea. "I just get really hot and know I need to run to a bathroom." I remember her saying... I just feel really hot and queasy and nothing happens. I just sit there feeling like shit hoping it'd blow over shortly. The cramps. No one mentioned to me about the cramps. The cramps aren't unbareable like the nausea is but the cramps are sometimes very painful and take my breath away.

Everyone I know that has ever had a kid leaves out the poop issues. Well, I remember my sister expressing her anguish with her poops. I guess as an American it's also pretty taboo to openly discuss your bowel movements to Joan-Schmoe and Jane-Schmoe on the street. But honestly, ladies, if you ever get knocked up... your perfect bowel movements will be no more. I can't wait to get my normal poops back. I have never before been constipated or any variation of such. It's a whole new poop world for me now. From what I read "they" were not kidding about getting as much fiber as possible. Between my Pregnancy book, my Pregnancy App and my Hubby's sister I feel very educated on something I feel completely ignorant about. Most of the ladies I come across through work or otherwise have said, "Once I got the baby home I was lost, I had no idea what to do." Which is amazing for me because I feel 110% confidence about bringing an itty bitty baby home and even teaching Hubby some things about babies which I feel he is fully capable. We've even discussed that he will handle poopie diapers just like I will. I made it very clear that this parenting thing will be as close to the same amount as possible for as long as we're alive. I'm just at a loss about what to do while the baby is developing inside. I feel helpless and completely responsible all at the same time.

My boobs are getting bigger and my stomach definitly seems to be plumping up. I feel like I'm too big to be nine weeks though. Hubby and I both don't have any twins in our families. Not enough twins to take note of, anyway. He says his "super sperm" are more than capable but it's all up to the doctor visits to clear that up, I suppose.

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