Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Make Goals Not Resolutions

Let's do something a little different this year.

If you've been trying to get the same thirty pounds off for the last five years maybe its time to sing a different song?

I recall my senior year of highschool every New Years Eve. Well, the day before break it seemes like every teacher wanted to go around the room asking everyone's resolutions. Everyone laughed when I said my resolution was to never make a resolution again. They thought I was a cop out or "cheating." But honestly its the easiest decision I've made of my life.

Lets face it, most people neglect their resolution by the time the Valentine's candy gets passed around. Even the word "resolution" sounds heavy and chore-like. The whole idea of a resolution sets you up to fail. To me, its just a way to point out how you fucked up the last year and now you need to fix it. That's looking back.

Lets look forward.

Make a goal list. I've had a goal list since I've been old enough to hold a pencil. I have lists everywhere. I make lists so I won't forget. I make lists because my mind is jumbled and I need to organize my thoughts. I make lists because they comfort me. You might not need a list. You might just need that one thing to set this new year apart from all the others. The beauty of this personal agreement is that its just that... personal.

The whole point of making goals is to attain them. Dont make goals you can't keep. (This goes back to one of my Golden Rules: Never make promises you can't keep... yes, including to yourself.)

Haven't lost that thirty pounds you keep insisting on? Set the goal to go to the gym twice a week all year. If you go more- awesome. If you go less- unacceptable, you have to make up those days the next week. If you stick to it you will more than likely lose some weight. Maybe thirty pounds-- maybe only twenty. Either way, you are attaining the goal you set for yourself! The side affect is only a positive influence on your life.

Have you been saying, "Eat healthier" for the last few years? Or "Give up the donuts and candy"? This one is easy. Instead of thinking about all the things you will be giving up or using such vague terms make the goal to use X amount of your grocery bill at a corner farmers market or that cute shack you pass every day with the guy selling vegetables. If you don't cook at home, insist on ordering a salad or steamed vegtables instead of your regular side. Thats all. I promise you, baby steps are better than no steps at all!

If you've had a rough or emotionally draining year maybe you should set the goal of, "Be happier." Simply that. Be a little more selfish. Go out more or stay in more-- whatever you fancy. Dont guilt yourself for blowing off that aunt that just brings you down. Write an inspiring song lyric or quote on your mirror or on a sticky note in your car. Use that sentence as a mantra. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Instead of going through the motions maybe you could take a day trip to hike up a hill or stare out into the ocean. If you're feeling stretched too thin have a day of the week or month that you blow everyone off and watch Netflix all day.  Feel you aren't being invited to things? Start inviting people to lunch or an event. Smile at yourself the most though-- that's important.

You are a person. You are worth while. Tonight isn't about having a sweetie to kiss or a reminder that you're alone, again, for another holiday. At midnight the ground won't break apart and cathulu won't surface and it won't start raining lava and and and... tonight is another night. It won't even be midnight in other countries when its midnight where you are. Life is constantly evolving and changing. To set one unwavering resolution at the threshold of the blank canvas that is the new year-- is just silly. A lot can happen in twelve months. Just love yourself and set the goals to better yourself throughout the year. Goals are healthy and allow you to feel accomplished once you reach those goals.

Since we are throwing out resolutions this year and doing this wacky called: Taking every day as it comes. I give you a challenge for the year. Yes-- a challenge. Its a hard one so brace yourself.

Smile more!

Yup, that's all I have. Smile as often as possible. Watch funny movies and smile at yourself in the mirror like you just spotted your favorite person. Just don't smile in the middle of brushing your teeth... that could get messy.

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