Sunday, February 28, 2010

I'm starving.

I'm so hungry I could probably eat my own mattress. lol I won't though... so don't worry.

This weekend has been... wow. Just... wow.

I've either been totally lame or totally on point. (Or very naughty) Either way, I'm happy it's Sunday. I'm debating on if I should go out or not. The last time I went out on Sunday I had girls trying to get me drunk to take me home and another one stole my necklace. (Bitch)

I may just chill at home tonight with Elliot (My kitty) He's always really neglected during the weekend anyway because I work so fucking much. I'm thinking of having a PJ day. Vegging out and watching movies. Too bad the ex took the DVD player in my room. (It was hers to begin with) because I really don't feel like going out to buy one right now... and every time I watch movies downstairs I just end up feeling like my father and pass out in my recliner. (I think out of the maybe six times in seven months I've been able to sit in my living room and watch movies and every time I fall asleep and wake up a few hours later with the title screen on) Never fails. I blame lack of sleep and constant working (and recently my attempts at non-work partying)

I feel so sleep hung over today. I realized last night as I was passing out that I haven't eaten one actual meal in three weeks. Is that pathetic? I get myself caught in a rut. I don't want to eat fast food, so I don't. I don't have time to actually fix myself something so I just don't eat at home. My stomach randomly decides that everything in it should be evacuated... so therefore I don't feel up to eating. Then when I do I'm out in public and I don't want to do the fast food thing and I'm not emotionally ready to face restaurants alone just yet... so I don't eat.

I'm still going to the gym like normal though. (About twice a week, sometimes I get lucky and go a third time) Which is terrible. I'm working away muscle that way; I know that... but damn, I'm losing weight like crazy! lol And to make up for my lack of normal eating, I've been eating a lot of red meat. :( Which may be why I feel like constant crap... but I can't eat veggies randomly once a day and not pass out from lack of legit solid foods, I think. My eating is so fucked up. I went from not eating meat to eating it every time I do eat because it's a rarity to eat at all. I need to fix that... it's probably part of the reason my tummy goes all wonky sometimes and then I feel like shit for hours.

I've realized I'm a crazy stalker and I need to be a hermit instead. (If only my job would allow it) I embarrassed myself rather terribly last night... and that will NOT happen again. I won't allow it. And I'm sorry... again. (You know who you are)


Blessed Be,

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